shining egg

quiet and meaning and two fairy dolls

i've been quiet here this last week.  i didn't plan to be, but it happened. 

it might be because i've been basking in the afterglow of a glorious holiday.  it might be the feeling of relief at having the frenzy of the holiday season (mostly) behind me.  it might be the chill in the air, or the promise of snow that hasn't yet materialized.  it might be the anticipation i always feel as we enter this last week before winter vacation.  maybe it's the approaching solstice.  regardless, it's a peaceful, calm quiet and i'm enjoying it thoroughly.

hanukkah ended last wednesday.  it was absolutely the best hanukkah i can remember.  there was such a sense of celebration, of family, of tradition, of enjoyment throughout the festival.  each night brought beauty and light into our lives.  we had dinners with family (though we missed our weekend with my brother and his family because of some strep throat around these parts - we'll be visiting and exchanging gifts next weekend instead), dinners with friends.  b. learned to strike a match, l. held the helping-candle and lit the other candles herself.  and the small amount of gift exchanging was filled to overflowing with meaning because our gifts were thoughtfully made, mindfully purchased, consciously wrapped, lovingly given.

i can not express how much i appreciated the absence of consumerism from our holiday celebration this year.  not having to visit the mall, spend hours online browsing and purchasing and paying for shipping, not feeling the familiar ache at the excess of toys and packaging, not feeling guilt at bringing more and more and more into our home, into our lives.  for me (and i mean this only as it relates to me and my family - i respect and appreciate each and every person's choice in this regard.  truly.), the absence of the commercial made space for meaning in my holiday celebration.

and, too, the beauty of making our own gifts and purchasing handmade brought even more significance to my celebration.  the care that went into the gifts i made.  the intention that went into choosing which gifts to purchase.  and the pleasure at knowing that my holiday shopping dollars went directly to artists - some of whom i have come to know and like a great deal - made the gifts that i purchased even more special.

i've been bursting at the seams to share one particular story. 

when we decided to give handmade for hanukkah, and even before, we thought long and hard about what to give the kids.  i can't tell you exactly how this came to be - it was one of those standing-in-the-shower moments.  you know those?  when you're standing in the shower and it just comes to you?  well, my kids had admired some fairy dolls in a catalog a few months back, and i had seen grace's amazing dolls on her blog, and i was standing in the shower one fall day, and boom.

because i needed them so early for hanukkah, and because grace has so many dolls to make at the moment, i offered to make the clothes.  because my sewing tends toward the basic, and because our preferred attire is generally simple, the fairies are dressed simply.  they're wearing cozy cotton flannels in colors to match their hair, with tiny wool felt leaves for embellishment.

the dolls are extraordinary.  my children were delighted.

we gave the dolls to the children on the last night of hanukkah, accompanied by a letter from our own special fairy instructing b. and l. in the proper care of fairy babies.  the dolls have been at the breakfast table every morning since, and i've received specific instructions for their care while the children are at school.  did i mention that they were delighted?  and i was, too.  i am.  (thank you, grace.  from the bottom of my heart.)

this i have come to believe with every fiber of my being: when i give handmade i spread beauty through the world by introducing something precious into the life of another, by supporting an artist directly and thus enabling her or him to continue to create, and by behaving in a way that reflects the kind of world i want to live in.  this season, i felt that beauty reflected back at me.  glorious, i tell you.

i do still have a bit of gift giving ahead of me.  our beloved babysitter, out of town family, a few friends.  and i've got a little something special planned for the kids at the solstice.  but most of all, this week, i'm planning to enjoy the calm, to step outside into the chilly december air, and to breathe.

i hope you're finding some time in this busy season for the same.

(i was interviewed for an article in usa today about giving handmade for the holidays.  you can read the article here.)

been sewing

i've been sewing.  stitching by hand, with the machine, some appliqué, a bit of embroidery.  for me, sewing is like painting, collage, like any other creative pursuit - it's about putting colors and forms together to create something pleasing.

i've taken over the dining room table (extended to its full length!) almost entirely - except for the bromeliad and a bowl of apples.

 

the sewing machine was a gift from my grandmother when i turned fourteen.  or fifteen, maybe.  i can conjure the image, clear as day, driving with her to montgomery ward to make the big purchase.  she had done all of the research, of course, being not-at-all-able to sew a single stitch.

i've always been good at straight lines.  i have a minimal understanding of patterns and clothing construction from my college days in the costume shop.  but really, straight lines are my forte.

so first, i made this.

the ring pillow for my sister-in-law's wedding in a few weeks.  this photo is of the back of the pillow, my favorite part.  i was really pleased with how it turned out.  i think my sister-in-law was, too.

and then this scarf for my little one, based on this tutorial.  it's precious, if i don't say so myself.  and soft, with lavender cotton flannel on the back.  i'm only waiting for a cold neck to wrap up inside. 

there's another scarf in the works.  this one is green, with some orange - colors by request.  a certain someone designed his own embellishment, and he's doing the embroidery himself!

it might be a little while, but i love it.

beach art

during our long happy days at the beach there was lots of time for making art. 

we used colored pencils and oil pastels on the beach almost every day. 

and watercolor pastels sometimes too. 

we painted rocks at home on rainy days.  i sketched in my moleskine (i hemmed and hawed over the decision to switch to moleskines and i'm oh-so-happy that i did it).

i made some new napkins for our cloth-napkin family.

i knitted along on my never-ending poncho which is still not finished, but which i'm committed to finishing before october 1.

i even got to paint the ocean at the ocean - something i've been wanting to do for a very long time.

for years, i've been wishing to paint, really paint, the ocean at the ocean.  but i paint in oils, usually on paper, and i just couldn't figure it out logistically.  i considered trying acrylics, using pre-stretched canvas, but then, earlier this summer, i got some excellent advice on the subject from another artist.

i used water based oils (which i think i'll be switching to completely in order to avoid using turpentine) and i painted on birch panels.  i also used a cardboard box for transporting and storing the paintings while they dried.  there are no photos of the painting in process - too many worrisome variables - paint-y fingers and so much sand, i couldn't throw my camera into that mix.

i'm glad i did it.  but there were some challenges.  sand in the paintings.  bugs landing on the paintings (they have to be removed with fingers because, of course, once they land in the oil paint they can't fly anymore).  and the fact that my painting is very much about line, and color.  i'm not a painter who captures things photographically, i do that with my camera.  i'm a painter who interprets and expresses a moment in time.  but this was a subject that i wanted to capture rather than interpret.

once i made sense of all that, i felt better about the paintings.  i also realized that, for me, right now, oil pastel is a better way for me to "paint" the ocean.  i'll try again, it was fun and i loved doing it, but i'm content having done it, for now.

wednesday, work in progress

lots happening here.

beginning a third watermelon on a soon-to-be napkin.

two postcards complete.  twelve to go.  having enormous fun with the project.

and, of course, the poncho is creeping along at a snail's pace.

it's all about stolen moments for me, right now, as summer begins.  the outdoors is calling.  there are tomatoes and zucchini and parsley to be planted.  a neighborhood pool to visit.  two small children with summertime running through their veins to entertain and enjoy.  a tent to purchase.  and the beach to dream of. 

but this morning, there are small pink socks to buy.

happy wednesday!

poncho and a pause

i finished the front of my poncho two weeks ago.  but i haven't taken a photograph.  i've started the back piece and am making (slow) progress.  i tried to photograph both pieces today using my small silver, but i can't get a decent photo to save my life.  so you'll have to take my word for it.  instead, i'm sharing a favorite photo (taken in march) - it has nothing at all to do with the poncho, really, but i had my heart set on posting a photograph today.

remember i said that knitting the 4x4 basket-weave was like zen?  well the back piece is a 2x2 and that is decidedly not like zen for me.  and the progress seems exceedingly slow.  but i keep on knitting.  this poncho will be finished, one day.

i'm off now for a few days on an adventure.  i'll be back next week with details.

robes

well i've been sewing, yes.  but when i said that i planned to sew something in my thirty-fourth year, this was not the "something" i had in mind.  i was thinking, at the time, that i would sew a skirt (or two) or a pillow.  but this project demanded my attention right away.

my son's first grade held an international fashion show today.  each child was assigned a continent and then allowed to choose a country and type of character (traditional dress, famous person, sports figure, etc.) from that country.

b.'s continent was asia.  he would have preferred europe (he would have liked to be a greek or roman god), and one of his friends who had africa chose to be a pharoh - he thought that was pretty great, too. 

working with asia, b. chose to be a buddhist monk from tibet!  i was so proud of him for this hardly-mainstream and rather sophisticated choice.  and thrilled that i'd be able to construct this simple costume.

so i sewed. 

we researched the robes and i shopped for the fabric.

i used some of b.'s most comfortable clothing as my pattern and made a muslin mock-up (almost all of my sewing background comes from college theater where we always made a mock-up first), and then sewed the skirt (which we called a "robe" because "skirt" has too many connotations for a first grade boy), the tunic, and the wrap.

 

i'm quite pleased with the result.  and, more important than that, b. was pleased and proud.

the play was adorable.  the buddhist monk from tibet was outstanding! 

and the sewing machine didn't go all the way back into the deepest corner of the closet - we're waiting for the next project.

(did you notice that i called this new category "i can sew?"  i thought, if i called it that, i might force myself to stop being so nervous about messing up and actually sew.  here's hoping...!)

lessons (and the poncho)

the last two years has been a time of great soul searching and stretching for me.  i've learned a lot about myself, about what i believe in, and about the world around me.  some of the lessons i've learned have been on a grand scale - lessons about who i am in the world.  others have been far simpler to learn and to understand.

i've learned, for example, that if i pick up the toys several times during the day, i'll still have to clean them up again at night; whereas if i leave them out all day, i'll clean them up once at night and have lots more time to play during the day. 

i've learned that this life is my journey to be lived out one day at a time no matter how eager i am to get to the next rest stop.

i've learned, as well, that the life i desire will not just unfold; rather it takes thought and intention and discipline and follow-through to make my life live up to my dreams. 

on the flip-side, i've learned that no matter how much i try, i can not control the world outside of myself (i can have an impact, but not control - thank goodness!), that trying is a waste of energy, and that considering my impact on others and on the world around me is far more worthwhile. 

i have learned, too, that nothing of substance is ever perfect and that so much of living is in enjoying the imperfections.

all of this is the lead-up to say...that my poncho has a problem.

last night, as i was knitting the last few rows on the front of the poncho, i noticed a tremendous change in the color of the yarn. 

remember i mentioned that i had two different dye lots?  and that i thought it would be ok because the yarn is variegated and the front and back have two different patterns and so i thought it would all just blend together?  ha.

how, you might ask, did i not notice this until last night?  an excellent question.  i knit mostly (ok, entirely) while i'm doing other things, and though i'm knitting, i'm not often looking carefully at the knitting.  in the case of this poncho, the pattern is a basket weave (4x4 on the front and 2x2 on the back), and knitting/purling in sets of four becomes like a form of meditation.   also, i've been knitting a lot lately while watching television in the evenings, when the lights are low, and i'm tired.  blah, blah, blah, i didn't notice until last night.

but when i noticed, i really noticed. 

like a punch in the gut. 

do i rip out the last six inches and re-knit?  do i even have another skein of the first dye-lot?

   

it turns out that i do have another skein of the first dye-lot.  it also turns out that i like the first dye lot better.  a lot better.

there's nothing i can do about having two dye-lots.  and ultimately, i do think the poncho will be ok if the front is in one yarn and the back is in the other.  but i don't think it will be ok if both the front and the back have both yarns.

when i began thinking about this post, i was going to tell you how i had come to peace with the notion that this poncho will be imperfect, that the change in color was probably only noticeable to me, and that the front of the poncho was finished.

alas, that's not the case.  i can't, in good conscience, shortchange myself or this project just for the sake of finishing.  the truth is, finished projects bring me enormous pleasure.  but knitting also brings me pleasure.  and this project is reminding me of my own lesson learned...i'm not at the rest stop yet.

knitting, finally

finally, a sunny morning to photograph the progress on my poncho.

i've been knitting this simple poncho for ages (i think i started in the summer of 2005 - so really, i've been not knitting it for ages). 

i love the yarn.

i love the color.  it turns out that i have two dye lots - i must have known this back in 2005 when i began, but i had forgotten.  i think it will be alright because the poncho is knit in two pieces with two different basket-weave patterns, so i'll use the second dye lot for the back of the poncho.  and because the yarn is variegated anyway, i think the overall look will be just fine.

i love the feel of this yarn.  i've been thinking, as i've been knitting (yes, lately i've actually been working on this project), that i wish the internet had a touch-and-feel factor so that you could feel the softness.  this is as close as i can get.

i select all of my yarns by feel.  which i why i've so far been unable to order any - even some of the most beautiful - over the internet.  the feel of the yarn is part of what draws me to a project.

i'm knitting along here, in the midst of the excitement of the past few days.  i hope to have a finished front to share shortly.

sick day

i'm always surprised by how dramatically our routine is disrupted when one of us is sick. this time it's my sweet son who so rarely gets sick - he came home after school on friday with a fever and it hasn't yet gone away. so we're all off-kilter - tired, on edge, some of us (the little sister in particular) are downright crabby.

today was a sick day. spent playing games, games, and more games. reading through piles of magazines and catalogs. and, after my earth-friendly post yesterday, doing load after load after load of laundry. seriously, it felt like one hundred loads of laundry - washing all of the sick blankets and sheets and pajamas. and my hands, they've probably been washed one thousand times today, trying to stop these germs from spreading through the family.

with all of the washing and misery and game-playing and nursing back to health, my creative juices are just not flowing. i am off-kilter. i did manage to take a few photographs (the light was just so nice i couldn't resist sneaking away from the sofa for a few minutes with my camera), and to get in a bit of knitting.

i turned the log cabin square. that was exciting. i picked up the stitches (not very well, as i was trying to avoid poking the sick head resting on my lap) and began knitting the second part of the square.

i had imagined the whole thing a bit smaller, and wasn't really thinking about what i was doing, just knitting according to the instructions. i do like the color of the yarn, though i don't think i'd set out to use this tahki cotton classic for this type of project again - it's just what i had left over and most easily accessible.

i'm thinking that this is likely to be a test (maybe a whole square, but probably still a swatch), we'll see.

tonight, i pulled a poncho out from the depths of my closet. this project has been on my needles for so long that i can't even remember where the pattern came from. it's called a vagabond poncho. and i'm knitting it with the softest most lovely malabrigo yarn in "brown berries." it's a pleasure to knit - a simple basket weave pattern - i had forgotten how much i like this project.

something soothing to work with tomorrow as our sick days continue.

so close

i finished the crocheted edge of the baby blanket last night.

i've never done any crochet before, and i'm pretty sure (though not certain) that i did the stitch backwards. but it was intentional. i prefer the look of the X stitch on the front of the blanket rather than the slanted straight stitch.

the edge on the inspiration blanket has a heavier crochet stitch - i think it's a backwards crochet stitch. but i decided to go with the straight crochet - both because it was my first time trying this so i figured simpler was better, and because (this is true honesty) there was nobody in the knit shop that day who knew how to do the backward stitch and i wasn't patient enough to wait for another day. anyway, i like it this way.

this morning, i finished the tassles.

and then, this afternoon, i (gulp) put the blanket in the washing machine! cold, gentle, mild detergent. i've never done that before, but the label on the yarn clearly states that it is machine washable - and it's for a baby, so if it can't be washed in the machine, it's no good. it worked just fine (phew).

of course, the blanket was way out of shape when i took it out of the machine, but i blocked it and it's drying on multiple layers of towels on my dining room table (the spot where i thought it least likely to be disturbed by interested little hands).

the only thing left to do is make the pretty ties to attach the tassles. and then, once the blanket dries, to attach the tassels. i'm so excited to deliver it to my niece next month. i will show the blanket one more time when it's all finished. but this is progress.

which is a really good thing because...i've been fixated on the log cabin blanket. it's that fixation that pushed me to finish this blanket so that i could move on to something new and exciting. then i got interested in these mitered squares (both fixations courtesy of january one). and it just so happens that this baby blanket is knit using tahki cotton classic, which is the same yarn cara used for the mitered squares. and i bought too many colors when i started the blanket, so i have a few hanks of purples and greens (one of my favorite color combinations) left over.

(i don't love the way this yarn has photographed - in todays pictures or in the ones from this post. the colors look too shiny and harsh, even when photographed in natural daylight. it's got to be my own error in shooting, but i'm not sure what to do about it. anyway, the green and orange and pink are not nearly as acid-y as they look in these pictures.)

i'm going to start some swatches tonight. likely to be the log cabin style, but i don't know yet - it will be a surprise.