my father's father

my grandfather died yesterday morning.  and i feel like a piece of my history has slipped through my fingers.

he was the father of my father, my father who died nine years ago.  he was the father of my aunt, my aunt who died two years ago.  and now he's gone, too.  leaving only my grandmother, the last man standing.  

he died on the other side of an ocean and across another continent in the place where he lived, and so i'm not there to bury him today with my grandmother and my cousins.  i'm here at home instead, looking at old pictures through tears, and sharing stories, and remembering.

my grandfather was a remarkable man.  

he was an entrepreneur until the end; never without an idea for something to sell, or buy, or how to make a million bucks, or how YOU could surely make a million bucks.  he was fascinated by politics, and loved little more than a good political debate (especially when his conservative opinion came out on top - which made for some heated exchanges between us).  he travelled the world for the business he created, visiting countries throughout africa and the middle east in the 1970s and 1980s, seeing places and meeting people that will only ever exist in my imagination.  he lived on two continents for much of his life, and moved, finally, with my grandmother - when they were in their mid-seventies - to build a new life in a foreign country.  he was brave.  and strong (really, really strong).  he always had a story to tell, an opinion to share, advice to give.  nobody sneezed louder than my grandfather.  nobody hugged tighter.  nobody.  he was gruff and tough on the outside - my children were always timid around him at first, each time we visited.  and tender loving on the inside - they were climbing into his lap for great big bear hugs by the time we were leaving.  

i will miss those bear hugs, and his opinions and ideas and stories and advice and his loud, loud sneezes.

he was my grandfather, the father of my father, and he is gone now.  i miss him already.

Comments

[Mama Urchin]

Oh friend. I know what it is to have a grandfather who is so dear. And I know what it is to lose him too. My prayers are with you and your family right now and in the days to come.

[Hannah]

Emily, my heart is sad with you. My prayers are with you and yours in this sad time.

[theresa/t does wool]

My deepest condolences to you and your family...losing my grandparents was the hardest thing I've had to face in this life...I will say a prayer for you all...

[sheepishone]

... with great sympathy.

[jen j-m]

oh, i'm so sorry. i'm thinking of you.
hugs, jen

[mariss]

I'm so sorry about your grandfather. He sounded like an amazing man.

[Ali]

What a wonderful, heartfelt tribute. Hold those precious memories close.

[heather]

beautiful words. deep sympathy, and hugs for you. take care.
xo

[kristin]

emily i am sorry to read the news... you've created such a beautiful tribute to him here. hugs and peace to your family.

[Molly]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfather this past December, and it still shakes me. Thinking of you. xo

[leslie]

emily. i am really sorry. that your grandpa is gone. your description of him. was very touching. an amazing man. indeed. you have encouraged me to hold onto my grandparents a little tighter.

[TD wool design]

prayers to you.
a hug if i could.

[muralimanohar]

What a wonderful tribute. You have my deepest sympathies.

[martha]

He sounds like an amazing person.
thinking of you.

[erin]

big hugs, emily. i am so very sorry that he is gone.

[Tracy]

Oh, honey, I'm sorry to hear that. This was such a lovely tribute to him. I feel like I know him through your words.

[melissa]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[ani]

so many thoughts and things i want to say...hugs to you, dear emily.

[cloth.paper.string]

oh, em.
my heart is heavy thinking of you right now. your words of tribute paint a loving and lovely image. without knowing him or seeing a picture of his image i can feel his hug, i can hear his sneeze. i'm sending a hearty 'bless you' to you and to his memory.
xoxo, sarah

[amy]

sorry for yr loss- may all the amazing things you have in yr mind concerning him be a comfort to you....

[Alicia A.]

I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you all.

xo.

[jeanne]

he sounds like a gentle giant, and my heart goes out to and your family.

[hrsj]

and now i'm tearing up and understand more fully something you said earlier. i wish i had been here before, to read this em, and give you a virtual hug, ten hugs. bear hugs.
i would like to see a picture of your grandfather. will you share one, sometime, when you're ready? i understand that feeling of being a child, and being a bit timid of someone who seems so large in your mind, but on the inside they're so tender.
i'm thinking about you too. i'm so glad all these sweet ladies are here to hug you.

[raina]

My condolences to you and your family. Big hugs. I loved my granpa dearly and was very sad when he passed away. What can I say except big hugs again.

[leslie]

oh, emily. i am so sorry.
and i feel your pain. oh so much. i miss my grandparents, everyday.
big hugs.